number two

What you are looking at is indeed a pair of binoculars in the bathroom. Lexi had to poop the other day and she did so in her potty and then after I dumped it in the big potty she had to "see poop, see poop" and i don't know.. maybe she thought it would change from one potty to the next? It's amazing that someone would choose to do this and how doing this actually made her happy and excited. Well, I guess that's the life of a (almost) two year old!

Wow I'm Tired!

Why is it that when Auntie Bo asked Ryland about his day today he replied by saying "mommy just took us to McDonalds because we were being bad and mommy wants us to start being good"? Well I realize that doesn't sound right and Auntie Bo was confused but it is absolutely true.I'm exhausted! Ryland and Lexi fight and fight and then fight a little bit more. I thought maybe a change of scenery would do the trick and they'd be so busy on the slides they wouldn't remember that they were even capable of fighting. I also told them that if I was going to take them out for fries and to play they had to show me how they could be good to each other and they had to start listening. Well they did really good there, even when it was time to pack up and leave and so far at home things are going better.

This morning I woke up at 1:45 and could hardly believe that I hadn't yet been woken from one of my children. I wasn't sure if I should let myself go back to sleep because someone should surely wake me for something soon and I hate getting to the point where at any second I'm going to be sleeping just to have someone wake me. My next thought was 'are they alive and still breathing?!' something must be wrong for no one to be awake! and then the question is always...do I risk checking on them? what if they are nicely sleeping and I disturb them and then now I've woken them? I play it back and forth in my head for a while and then decide to quickly check on them, but not a good check where I touch them to see if they're breathing (3 times before leaving!) or make them move a little, just a quick listen at the door today. I actually got to sleep until 2:46am before I was woken by Sophia, that is a great night! and then things were back to normal..that means that when I was finished with Sophia and back in bed I got nice and cozy and I was just about to fall asleep and then I heard Lexi calling out for me...ahhh, this is what i'm use to and what my night should be like. (or shouldn't be like but is). I hate the fact that my baby is almost 9 months old and her waking up at 2:46am was such a great thing for me, I wish that that was a bad thing and that that would have annoyed me because she
slept through the night. I hate that Lexi waking up at 3:13am for the first time last night was good too and her going back to sleep nicely was the best part of it because in two weeks she will be 2! Ryland last night didn't wake up, or me up and that was a really really good night for me. Ryland is an awesome sleeper, I can't say much bad about him, at bed time he goes to bed and if he wakes in the night he usually goes to the bathroom and can get a drink by himself (I try to remember before bed to have one ready for him in the fridge but if not he can open a bottle of water) although sometimes he comes to tell me about his dream whether it be good or bad or sometimes he just comes to kiss me which is so sweet and I love. Sophia i can't figure out why she keeps waking up, is it partly habit is it partly because she really does want to eat a little?? I've tried so much already and i'm wearing out. she only eats a very little bit one time in the night, the rest of the time she may need help going from her tummy to her back again or she pooped or she's just up and talks, I try and leave her for as long as I can but it's hard when i'm risking another little one waking up and sometimes it's just easier to go get her rather then being up for an hour waiting for her to go to sleep on her own, I'm so tired I just want to get her sleeping as fast as I can. Lexi has gotten so much better since her molars have started coming through. Now she can have nights where she sleeps all the way through which is so helpful. My days have been getting started early again, I had a bit of a break where it was 7-7:30 and now Sophia wakes between 5:40 and 6:00 and then the other two are up by 6:45. Some days I don't know why I was chosen to have to deal with children who keep me up most of the night and then who also wake me up before the sun. I hate feeling tired all day, I hate having constant headaches because I'm just so tired, I hate feeling as though I can't enjoy my evenings because I need to go to sleep because I'm probably going to be up for a combined 2-3 hours in the night and then woken nice and early. Then this morning when I was in bed and so very tired and I could hear that all my children were awake and wanting something from me I realized how blessed I was that I had 3 beautiful children to take care of. I realized that any mom out there in the world who had a sick child, or one that had been taken from them already would trade my 'sleep' problems with theirs any day, any second. So I'm chronically tired but I have 3 children who are alive and healthy and one day they'll grow out of this..they have to right? Two kids who forgot how to play together and learnt how to fight don't mix very well with a mom who is so tired so I feel like I can barely function some days but like I said, I know this too shall pass and I will one day get the rest I desire and I know that I am blessed to have all my babies and I love taking care of them, even though they need so much care in the night still!

the funny thing about this is that this is my first year doing something for Lent and you know what it was I chose to do?? coffee! well that was horrible so I did 20 days of that which i barely survived and now for the last 20 days I'm doing chips.